The Dumbest Waterbed Customer Of All Time

I have lots of waterbed stories but one stands out as the dumbest. I had just started my business a few months earlier and this nice couple comes in and buys an expensive water bed. They explain that a drilling company has hit a pretty large natural gas field on their acreage and they are celebrating. He tells me that he has quit his job and if I’m going to sell him this bed, I’m going to deliver it and set it up, he doesn’t work anymore.

So I go to their modest house and set the waterbed up, no problem. Then I get a call the next day, there is a huge bump in the middle of the mattress and they can’t sleep on it. I sold them a defective mattress and they want satisfaction.

This story needs some clarification. The type of mattress that they purchased was a semi-wave with free floating baffles that are attached in one sheet. They work very well in most situations.

I go to the house and to my horror, yes their water bed baffles are bunched in a ball. But even more curious, the fill nozzle for the mattress is located at the head of the bed! Now I set this bed up and I fancy myself an expert on water beds and I know I didn’t do it. So I ask the owner. He tells me, with barely concealed disgust in his voice, that his son in law came by after I left from setting the mattress up and informed him that the mattress was set up all wrong.

So these two knuckleheads attempt to move the mattress from head to foot while full. The mattress proves too heavy so they go through the process of draining most of the water and man handling the poor mattress until it is correct? During this process, they manage to ruin the mattress. Now I ask you, why didn’t this consumer call me before he attempted to correct my supposed mistake? This happened before the movie Dumb and Dumber came out but these two guys must have modeled for the movie.

I hate to admit it, but I drained their mattress, installed a new one and re-filled it was their slow well home water system. It took all day. I explained the error of their ways and I didn’t charge them. I hope the gas royalties are still rolling in for them because they need help.